How Neji Hyuga Almost Stole Christmas
by Dcfan100
Summary: It's Christmas Eve and Neji's dreading the following day. So naturally he does what every other great Christmas villain has done in the past, he decides to keep it from coming! But he does run into one little problem. Tenten! NejiTen! Please Review!


**It's never to early for Christmas fics! So here is one of what I hope are a long line of Christmas fics from the studio known as DCfan100. Now, I'm not sure about this one so if you have any suggestions on how to make it better (beside the grammar and spelling, hey, I'm working on it!) please tell me! If it sucks, tell me so I can know how to fix it! I know for a fact that there are some people who have used this idea before so please excuse me if it bears resemblance to any of them! I did not intentionally steal anything! Now! On with the story!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything by Dr. Seuess. If I did…well you know.**

Every Ninja down in Konoha liked Christmas a lot...

But Neji Hyuga, Who lived in the Hyuga compound, did NOT!

Neji hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!

Now, please don't ask why, he'll Jyuken you without reason.

It could be that there was far too much light.

It could be, perhaps, that his robes were too tight.

But I think that the most likely reason of all was that maybe his heart was two sizes too small.

But, whatever the reason, his heart or his eyes,

He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the ninjies,

Alright so the plural of ninja is ninjas now get off my case!

What else did you expect me to put in its place?

Staring down from his room with a cold Hyuga glare,

Ol Neji would simply sit there and stare

At the warm hearted villages in their town below

Who were now busy now hanging a mistletoe…wreath.

"Look at them decorating" he said so coldly and smug

"Tomorrow is Christmas! So what? Humbug!"

Okay, okay so that's from a different tale

Which will probably be written by our author or some dude named Dale

Yes, yes we know

We're just making up rhymes

Not sit down, listen and quit trying to whine!

Then Neji growled with his manicured fingers nervously drumming

"I shall find a way to keep Christmas from coming!"

For, tomorrow he knew all the citizens, be they sensei or student

World rush to there trees (some in a state not very prudent)

And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!

That's thing he most despised! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!

Okay so we said the same thing nine times

Perhaps the good doctor suddenly ran out of rhymes.

Then the ninja, young and old, would sit down to a feast. And they'd feast!

And they'd feast! And they'd FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!

"Hey! I've got an idea!" Dr Suess must have said.

"I'll just keep repeating words till something new pops in my head!"

They would start on raisin-pudding, and rare Onbaa-roast-beast

Which was something Neji couldn't stand in the least!

We do try to cut the Hyuga some slack you see

For he's not as obnoxious as he was back in episode sixty three.

And although he still comes off as a big obnoxious jerk

That character trait is not without its perk

THEN They'd do something he liked least of all!

Two Ninja down in Konoha, one tall and one small,

Would jump up and down and shout "Youth!"

If he was going crazy then this was sure proof.

And then the rest of the village would start to sing!

They'd sing! And they'd sing! AND they'd SING! SING! SING! SING!

And the more the Neji thought of villagers and Gai's Christmas Song

The more the Neji thought, "This is just too wrong!

I've tolerated it from death of my father until now

But I must destroy Christmas! The only question is how?"

Then he got an idea! An awful idea!

NEJI HYUGA GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

"Aghh!" cried out author as did Dr. Seuss "Nothing rhymes with idea!"

"Time to be redundant again! We've still got a thousand words to go, we can't lose!"

"I know just what I'll do," Neji bellowed from his throat

As he donned a Santa hat and coat.

Before transforming into an old man with a belly like a papaya

"What a great clever trick! Now I look just like Jiraya!"

"All I need is a reindeer..." Neji said with a wink.

But Choji ate the last one for Thanksgiving we think.

But did that stop the old Neji? No!

The Hyuga simply snarled and said, "If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"

So he leaned out of his window and shouted "Hey Lee!"

And quick as a flash the spandex boy showed up at his door saying "Hey Neji!"

You gotta emphasize the last part of his name sounds it sounds just right

Now quit nitpicking at every little thing that I write!

Then using his ninja arts he tied two horns to the top of Lee's head

And "How incredibly youthful!" was all that Lee said.

So upon taking Hanabi's little green sled, some sacks of cloth

And with a plan formed in his mind

The sled and youthful Rock Lee did he ever tightly bind

Then he cried "forward!" and Lee cried "Yosh!"

So the sled raced forward with Neji still looking ever so posh

And the sleigh started down toward the homes where the snoozing ninja lay.

They slept silently in there beds dreaming of the coming day.

All the windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.

Even the ANBU dreamed of decapitating rouge nin without care.

When he came to the first house in the middle of town

Neji jumped out with something that resembled a frown.

"This is the first stop," Neji silently hissed

And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.

Then he slid down the chimney which was not hard to do.

Such things are easy if you know where to send chakra to.

So he emerged from the fireplace so quietly calm

That even the Hokage would have sensed nothing wrong

He saw ninja stockings all hung in a row.

"These stockings," he smirked, "are the first things to go!"

Then he tiptoed and maneuvered, with a smile most unpleasant,

And around the whole room, and he took every last present!

Kunai! And senbon! Chips! And Drums!

Shogi boards! Dango! Shurkien! And uh…plums!

And he sealed them away inside a special scroll.

Before taking away the whole Ninja feast for now he was on a roll!

He opened the icebox and took out the food quick as a flash

The apples, and pudding and tasteless ration hash

The ramen and the crackers which crumbled to smithereens!

The Onbaa the casserole and the uncooked Lima beansees!

Perhaps he should have stopped and asked why ramen was in the ice box.

But he didn't and neither should you lets just say Shikamaru's as sly as fox

Then he stuffed the scrolls up the chimney with glee.

"And NOW!" Neji Smiled, "I will stuff up the tree!"

But as Neji grabbed the tree, and he started to shove

He heard a small sound behind him that sounded a little too smug.

"Neji? Is that you?" the voice of his teammate asked.

Neji's heart sank, he had to make up an excuse fast!

"Tenten? What are you doing here?" he exclaimed.

"I live here," Well there went his chances of not taking blame.

"I see what you're doing. I just want to know why?

This is a holiday for happy things, not to hide and to lie

And although I don't mean to be a bother or mean to be rude

I think poor Lee outside is turning into an ice cube"

Neji looked around then at her eyes before saying with a sigh

"Christmas is for family, after my father died I never had one to call my own

Yes, my uncle and Hinata treat me well but I still feel alone

Other than that I don't really have a reason,

Here's your stuff, sorry to ruin your holiday season."

And after handing Tenten back his scrolls Neji headed back to the chimney his head hung not so high

"Where are you going?" Tenten said refusing to say goodbye.

"Back to my house, where else shall I lay?"

"You could always stay here! Tomorrows Christmas day!

Come on Neji! Don't be a Scrooge!

It's Christmas! Now get in the mood!"

She said this with a smile so happy and bright

That Neji knew he had no choice but to stay there that night

And what happened at that moment?

Well in Konoha they say, that Neji's heart grew three sizes that day.

And at that moment his heart melted not feeling so tight

And he took Tenten's offer with a "Hn" her face glowing like a light

The very next day everyone was shocked

News of Neji's change was heard down every block.

He gave toys the children and brought food for the feast

Yet maintained his cool demeanor and never touched the Onbaa-roast-beast

Then Naruto shouted "God bless us…every one!"

Okay, so you probably saw that coming from a mile away.

But it won't seem half as corny on your actual Christmas day.

And many more hours would the two spend

Until next year they celebrated the holiday as boy and girlfriend

And because no one can stop the natural progression of life

They celebrated it again a year later as Husband and Wife.

**Please review!**


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